PAID GUIDE · C
The unwritten rules that make Chinese hosts glow — and the small taboos that quietly offend.
Reviewed 2026-08
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A warm 'nǐ hǎo' with a nod or light handshake is the standard greeting. Chinese handshakes are softer and shorter than western ones — don't crush. Bow slightly when meeting elders. First names come last; 'Lǐ xiānsheng' (Mr Li) is safer than using someone's given name early.
Business cards are exchanged with two hands and read, not pocketed immediately. Among friends, informality rules — but warmth beats formality everywhere.
'Face' is social dignity — giving it is praise, losing it is embarrassment. Practical translations for travellers: never publicly criticise or correct someone; praise in public, suggest privately. When a host insists on paying or walking you to the station, they're giving you face — accept with gratitude.
If something goes wrong (wrong order, cancelled train), stay calm and positive; raised voices lose face for everyone and rarely fix anything.
The three unforgivable chopstick sins: standing them vertically in rice (funeral incense), pointing at people, and spearing food like a fork. Rest them on the chopstick holder or your bowl. Use the serving spoon or your own chopsticks for shared dishes — the reverse end of your chopsticks works as serving utensils.
At the end of the meal, lay chopsticks neatly side by side on the rest — done, satisfied.
At banquets, the host toasts first: 'gānbēi' (cheers/bottoms up) means finish your drink; if you don't drink, say so early and hold tea instead — never fake it. When someone pours your tea, tap the table twice with two fingers (the thank-you tap). Refill others' cups before your own.
Rice wine (baijiu) is strong (40-60%!). Sip slowly; a glass of tea is an honourable substitute.
When a Chinese friend takes you to dinner, they will fight to pay — literally reaching across the table. The etiquette: protest once or twice ('let me!'), then let them win. Next time, you pay. This is not empty ritual; it's how relationships deepen.
Never split a hosted bill — it can embarrass the host. With casual acquaintances, 'AA' (going Dutch) is increasingly common among the young.
Dress modestly at temples (shoulders and knees covered). Don't point your feet at statues or sit on altar steps. Photography is allowed in most temple courtyards but often banned inside halls where Buddha statues sit — look for the no-camera sign (a crossed-out camera) and obey it.
Burning incense: three sticks is the traditional count, and yes, you can join in — it's a lovely way to participate.
Chinese people are generally happy to be photographed, especially in ethnic-minority regions where colourful costumes are part of the experience — but always ask first with a smile and a gesture. Portraits of monks, soldiers and police are best avoided. At markets, buy a small item before photographing the stallholder's goods.
Drone photography is heavily regulated near airports, military sites and crowded areas — check local rules before flying.
China is a high-density society: queues can be loose, escalators pack tight, and personal space shrinks in markets. None of this is rudeness — it's a different rhythm. A cheerful 'duì bu qǐ' (sorry/excuse me) with a smile parts crowds better than a stern 'excuse me'.
In queues at stations and attractions, follow the group flow and stay patient — staff manage the order with loudspeakers.
Small gifts from home — chocolate, coffee, a book about your country — are perfect. Present with both hands; the receiver may demur once before accepting (refusal ritual — insist gently). Avoid clocks (death), pears (parting), and white flowers (funerals). Four of anything is unlucky (four sounds like death); eight is lucky.
Giving a gift in a red envelope (hóngbāo) doubles the goodwill. Money gifts to children and elders at festivals are traditionally cash in red envelopes, never white.
During Chinese New Year, red envelopes (hóngbāo) are given to children, elders and staff. If you receive one: accept with both hands, thank warmly, and don't open it in front of the giver. Amounts are usually modest; lucky numbers like 88 or 168 (prosperity) are appreciated, and never include 4.
WeChat digital red packets are equally common — tapping one open is pure joy and perfectly acceptable.
4 (sì) sounds like death — avoid in gifts, hotel room preferences and toast amounts. 8 (bā) sounds like fortune — embrace it. 520 and 1314 are romantic codes (I love you / forever). Umbrellas, shoes and scissors as gifts carry unlucky overtones — skip them.
When in doubt, chocolate and tea are universally safe.
Slightly — try a bite of everything offered. If you truly can't (allergy, diet), explain warmly; hosts appreciate honesty over polite suffering.
No tipping culture exists. If you really want to leave extra, leave cash on the table — staff may run after you to return it.
Covered shoulders and knees. Remove hats in halls. Comfortable shoes — temple grounds are often hillside walks.
No — only at tourist markets and stalls. Fixed prices rule in shops, restaurants and transport. Bargaining where it's not welcome is poor etiquette.
